Do you remember?
Do you remember the first time you looked into my eyes?
You were three days old and after a couple day stay in the
NICU you were finally well enough to come out of NICU to join me. As soon as the nurse put you into my arms, your
eyes opened and you stared at me. All
the while I held you, you held onto my finger, looking at me the entire
time. I wondered if you somehow knew I
was your mother. I wondered if you were
missing my voice while in the NICU, and now that you were out and in my arms, I
wondered if you felt better that I was there talking to you again…I remember.
Do you remember your first tooth?
The
first tooth that push its way through your little jaw bone was a double tooth. You wasted no time biting anything that was
put into your mouth, including Stevie’s finger which he put in your mouth over
and over. And each time he would cry
because you would bite him. This double
tooth was also the first teeth you lost.
That fused double tooth fell out in one chunk. Two teeth fused together…I remember.
Do you remember our first trip to California?
I took you to California before you could walk or talk, to
visit my family. We had a good time
visiting with everyone, but on our way home you were cranky on the
airplane. I thought you had gotten ill
on our trip home, but when we arrived at the airport in Boise and you saw your
father, you were so elated. As he held
you, you kept patting his shoulder and saying, “DaDa” as though making sure you
were not dreaming. I think you were just
homesick and missing your father. You
were so happy to see him. You would not
stop giggling and patting his shoulder…I remember.
Do you remember the word ‘Guuk”?
It was your word for milk, I would say, “Say Milk”, and you
would say, “Guuk.” Over and over we
would practice saying ‘Milk’ to no avail, it didn’t matter you still said,
“Guuk.” For years, even after you
started talking, you still used the word ‘Guuk’ in place of milk. It didn’t matter your age, you always referred
to ‘Milk’ as ‘Guuk.’ When your own
children were born, I often heard you asking them if they wanted water or
‘Guuk’…I remember.
Do you remember reading books?
You loved being read to, whatever book we read you, you would
then recite the book back to us as you turned the page and as if you were reading
each line, word for word. You were only
two years old and I think you thought you were reading, but really you
memorized each line word for word…I remember.
Do you remember the day you asked me to marry you?
You were three years old, “Mommy when I get bigger will you
marry me? That way you can cook my spasghetti.” Spaghetti was your favorite food, and you did
not like other people cooking for you.
It was the sweetest thing and you were so serious, but the second you
started school and all the little girls started chasing you, you forgot all
about me…I remember.
Do you remember learning to tell time?
You were always fascinated by numbers and by the clock. When you were three you would look at the
clock and you would either say it was ‘quarter to 12’ or ‘4:30.’ Steve would like to fool our friends when
they were at the house at either of these two times. He would ask you to go see what time it was
and you would go look at the clock and then come back with one of these two
times, and most of the time you were correct at guessing the right time. You were fascinated with numbers and once you
discover you could count each line on the clock, you figured out how to tell
time. Everyone, including your
Kindergarten teacher, was amazed you could look at the clock and give us the
correct time all by yourself…I remember.
Do you remember your bedtime stories?
You loved being told bedtime stories prior to falling
asleep. There were several stories you
loved hearing about, one was Harry the Hippo and the other was Delbert. All the stories I told you at bedtime were a creation
of my imagination. You loved the
stories, and when I told you a Delbert story you would want to hear another
one. After you grew up and had your own
children, you shared the same bedtime stories I told you as a child, and
Delbert was also their favorite bedtime story.
There came a time when I decided to put these stories into book form and
after drawing several pictures of Delbert I asked you to describe Delbert to
me. You described Delbert exactly as I
had imagined him in my drawing and this was the drawing I used for my little ‘Delbert’
books. I then gave these books of
Bedtime stories to your children and to other grandchildren…I remember.
Do you remember your first day of school?
You were a little timid to go forth in this new phase of
your life, and I was hesitant to leave you behind with your new teacher. When I picked you up after school, you were
wearing a large purple crown made of paper in celebration of your birthday,
which fell on the very day you started school.
You were excited to share the happenings of your school day with me…I
remember.
Do you remember learning to swim?
I watched your progress as you took swim lessons. I didn’t think you would ever learn because
day after day you were swallowing water, and then one day you just started
swimming. You swam your little heart out
many times in the lake by our house. Oh
how happy those long summer days went by swimming in the lake…I remember.
Do you remember the winters in McCall?
You loved being out in the snow. You would stay outdoors for hours on
end. And every time we turned around you
were eating snow. Tina taught you how to ice skate when you were three and you
learned to ski at an early age. But
mostly you just like playing in the snow.
When my friend Robin was learning to ski, you stayed by her side the
entire day to help her and to laugh with her…I remember.
Do you remember being shy?
During all your school years each of your teachers
complained about you being too quiet.
Knowing you were shy I was afraid and did not want you to be an
introvert as an adult, so I tried to change your personality. I thought if I made you join each and every
sport available outside of school, it would force you to interact with other
children your age. As it turned out, you
were always quiet throughout your entire life, your personality did not change,
but after all those years of making you join one sport after another, you
became a great athlete…I remember.
Do you remember the Chicken Pox?
In the fifth grade you caught the Chicken Pox. Wow, you were clobbered from head to foot and
then some. After a few days home from
school, you looked into the mirror and started screaming and crying, “I look
like a monster!” You refused to go back to school until you started healing,
and I had to admit you really did look like you came out of a horror film. I kept you home from school well over a week…I
remember.
Do you remember working with your father?
You were 10 years old when you started working with your
father’s plumbing business. He started
paying you $1.00 an hour, plus all the goodies you could eat. You were so happy to go to work each day with
your father and you learned all your tools very fast. Steve was pleased you tried to learn
everything fast and were always asking questions. You never complained about going to work and
were always ready when Steve was ready to leave. By the time you were 16 years old you were
sent out on plumbing jobs by yourself because you were so advanced in the trade,
and by this time Steve was paying you $18.00 to $20.00 an hour depending on the
work involved. There were times when
clients would specifically ask for your services, not knowing your true age…I
remember.
Do you remember your years in Junior High?
Before your junior high years, the only complaint from any
of your teachers was that you were too quiet.
They said you rarely talked out loud and they wished you could be a
little more outgoing. Once you started
Junior High things began to change…during one of your wrestling practices, you not
only challenged, but beat the wrestling coach/teacher during this practice,
injuring him in the process. Another
time, while on the school bus you and another student started a fire on the
school bus. And still another time on
the school bus you came home complaining about your eyes. Evidently a girl sprayed hair spray in your
eyes. When I asked you why she would do
that you answered, “I don’t know, all I did was ask her if she smoked or if her
teeth were naturally that color.” After
the fire on the bus incident, the principal called to talk to Steve about the
event. When Steve’s conversation
terminated with the principal, he and I were so happy. We even jumped up and down and yelled, “Yay
he is normal.” Before that occurrence we
were worried you were not a normal kid, we felt better once you started getting
in trouble, although we did not anticipate you would be getting into trouble
over and over that year…I remember.
Do you remember getting your brown belt in Judo?
You were 13 years old and in order to get promoted you had
to compete against adults in the senior brown belt division. I was scared to death, but you prevailed and
won 1st place in both brown senior and 13-14 juniors, and you received
your well-earned promotion. On our drive
home from this tournament, we drove with Robin and her family you and Little
Jerry were both delirious with pride, because you each came home with two
trophies in hand. We came across a
blizzard on our 240 mile drive home, but no one cared because of the great competition
you two boys had this day. You were also
13 years old when you came home to tell Steve and myself of your plans to
compete in the 2000 Olympics. You were
certain of your future in Judo. You had
no reservations, and proudly shared your dreams with me and your father. “I want you guys to know, I will be competing
in the 2000 Olympics. Going forward this
is my goal for Judo. My first step is to
become National High School Champion, four years in a row, and my second step
will be to be invited to live and train at the United States Olympic Training
Center in Colorado Springs,” Jeff said to us with pride and with
confidence. Steve and I both admired
your confidence, and even though we did not say it aloud, we just smiled and
said to ourselves, “Ok, whatever”…I remember.
Do you remember your high school years?
You were so advanced in wrestling and football that you
competed in varsity in both of these sports all four years of high school. You were competing and winning in Judo
National tournaments, and received your first All American in Judo when you
were 15 years old. You finished off your
football years by making the all-state football team for both offense and
defense positions, and you achieved a third place finish at the High School
State Wrestling tournament, both of which were fabulous feats. At the end of your senior year at
McCall-Donnelly High School, you and another student both received the most
prestigious athletic award. The
recipient was selected by the coaches of all sports and given to one student,
but on this year they selected two students. What a proud moment that was. You had many friends, and our house was the
house where you and your friends all hung out to lift weights, play pool, or
just plain hang-out…I remember.
Do you remember your truck?
Steve bought you a truck when you were 14 years old. You didn’t get your driver’s license until
your senior year due to your conflicting summer Judo schedule, so you were
usually a passenger in your own truck while your friends drove your truck. Your truck was not the prettiest truck, and
was in fact one of the ugliest trucks, but when you went 4-wheeling in the mud
with your friends, it was your truck that was powerful enough to pull all the
new fancy trucks out of the mud when they got stuck. You came home one day and boasted about your
truck. How funny was that…I remember.
Do you remember receiving your black belt?
You were 16 years old and by this time had been competing
against full grown adults in Judo on a regular basis. You were given your black belt during Judo
practice and when you came home you were so proud to show it to your father. By this time you had been traveling to,
competing, and winning National Judo tournaments all over the United States,
from Hawaii to New York, and from Washington State to Florida. You also started competing in International
tournaments, and completed training in Japan as a member of the elite United
States High School National Judo team.
You were invited to and trained in various Olympic training facilities
throughout the US, and you were also invited to compete in the United States
Olympic Festival. With each tournament
you excelled just a little more, and your goal of being an elite athlete, was
beginning to become a reality. These
years of your Judo life were so exciting for all of us and were so important to
you and to your future endeavors…I remember.
Do you remember moving to Colorado Springs?
The hardest thing I have ever done in my life was drive you
to Colorado Springs. We, you and I, drove
there together, found an apartment and I helped you set up house. And then I had to leave you there. You were 17 years old. Steve was initially going to come with us but
a week earlier he had an accident, was confined to a bed, and thereby could not
make the trip with me. Do you remember
what I told you? I said, “This reminds
me of your first day of school, I took you to school and had a hard time
leaving you there.” On this trip I was
taking you to Colorado Springs so that you could attend College and train at
the Olympic Training Center. This trip
was both exciting to see you at last realizing your dream, and at the same time
was heart-wrenching for me because I had to leave you behind. When you dropped me off at the Denver airport,
you knew I was about to cry, “Knock it off” you said to me. I could see the tears in your own eyes as I
turned to catch my flight. I cried all
the way home…I remember.
Do you remember being invited to live at the Olympic
Training Center?
It was not long after you moved to Colorado that you were
invited to live and train at the Olympic Training Center. What an amazing accomplishment that was for
you. Everything you had set out to do
you were doing, you at 13 told us you were going to be an Olympian, and here
you were four years later, on your way to accomplishing your goal. Having you live and train at the Olympic
Training Center allowed us to send you to tournaments in other states to
compete and gain points toward your goal.
You were so proud to represent yourself in the best manner possible…I
remember.
Do you remember your wedding day?
We all traveled to Santa Barbara, California for your
wedding. It was so special because it
was just a few of us there to enjoy it. The
wedding dress I sewed for Natascha fit perfectly, but it was about an inch too long,
which did not matter since we were on the beach anyway. Your wedding was held at day’s end, with a
beautiful sunset on the horizon.
Sebastian was wearing a cute little tuxedo and found a feather on the
sand of the beach. He played with the
little feather in the sand the entire time we were there. The next day we had a reception at my brother’s
house. What was supposed to be a small
reception with only family turned out to be very large due to everyone bringing
a guest or two…I remember.
Do you remember?
I remember baby. I remember everything. How many times do I remember your voice on
the other end of the phone? How many
times do I remember vacationing at your house?
The lions, the caves we explored, those million stairs we climbed, the
museums, the skeleton…how many times did your father and I go visit you? How many times do I remember you bringing your
family home? Home where we had water balloon
fights, bar-b-ques, trips to McCall, hide n seeks, playing at the lake, how
many days and nights were spent here in Boise visiting with your father and I. I remember baby…my memory is long. I remember all the good times. I remember all the days that were not so
good. I remember the laughter, Christmas’,
Easter, Thanksgiving. I remember
baby.
I will always remember.
I will always remember.
I remember.
